My Dirty Little Secret.

I have a dirty little secret. I'm twenty nine years old and I'm a student at Northern Virginia Community College.

I know it's not that dirty of a secret, but these days it's not the type of information I willingly share. It's weird because, I'm really proud of myself for the way I'm doing it this time around and I wish I wasn't embarrassed to share my story (with some of my friends).

All of my close friends did things on schedule. By that I mean, went to high school immediately after college, were there for four years, then graduated. It all started junior year of high school. While everyone around me was focusing on taking AP classes, SATs, and their GPAs I was looking for an alternative to college. My parents weren't putting any sort of pressure on me to go get a post secondary education either. I think that's because the way they grew up it was more important to start working as soon as possible. Anyway, I found my alternative in the marine corps. By Mid Junior year I had made up my mind that I was going to to boot camp less than a month after graduating high school. I was proud of that. Fast forward to winter of Senior year... All my friends and my girlfriend at the time were receiving acceptance letters to their schools. I had already signed the paperwork with the marine corps the previous summer and I thought I was at peace with that. I tried to suppress any doubts I had about that decision, but it just didn't feel right. By March I had backed out of my commitment with the marine corps and was trying desperately to get into a four year college. Needless to say it didn't work. My grades weren't great and obviously I was too late. I enrolled at NVCC for the fall. It was my only option.

I spent four years at NVCC. They didn't go too well. I just wasn't interested. Looking back on those years it's clear to me how not ready for college I was. Maybe it took me becoming a father to realize how important it is to have that piece of paper (a college degree). I'm back now and I'm doing pretty well so far. My goal is straight A's, although I only need a 2.0. Seven classes before I can transfer to the University of Virginia (they have a Northern VA program). I plan on finishing the seventh class in the Spring and being at UVa by fall of next year.

I've only told a handful of people this and I can't help but get a little awkward when someone sees me going to school. They ask where I'm going and I always wish I had some canned answer to give that would not beg for follow up questions. I don't have that response and I end up having to explain why I screwed up when I was younger. Most are quite proud of me for not giving up. It would be so easy to give up on the dream of a college degree. And it's probably all in my head. No one probably looks at me any differently when they find out I don't have a degree. But I can't help and think that they do, and believe me, some do. It's ok. That's just the extra motivation I need, but don't tell anyone. It's our little secret.